for darlingdatura

[suitsahero]

There is only one thing Haurchefant hates more than being the bearer of bad news and that's being the bearer of news when he's not sure whether it's good or bad news. At least with bad news, one can prepare oneself appropriately, know what kind of reaction you're liable to get. But with something like this...

He's given orders to pile the intercessory's fireplace high with logs, to try to make sure that Mikka will not be overly cold, but it seems like the poor Miqote is cold practically everywhere in Ishgard. He comes bearing hot chocolate to go with his... news of an indeterminate sort, having had one of his men fetch Mikka to the intercessory several minutes prior. It's been a habit of his to do so every time he returns from Ishgard, to brief them on how their asylum status is going and catch them up on news of the wider world, when there is any to be had in the isolationist country.

That Haurchefant has asked Mikka to come alone, though, is unusual, potentially giving away that this is no ordinary debriefing. Still, Haurchefant manages a sunny smile for the Warrior of Light as he pushes his way into the room with the chocolate,

"Sorry I'm a bit late! I had to make sure the chocolate was just right," the smile hedges more entirely genuine, touches his eyes as he sets the mug down in front of Mikka, "It is good to see you again, friend, though I suppose it has been only days since last I did. I confess, I've grown too used to it."

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[darlingdatura]

Much the same, Mikka is still half-expecting to wake one morning and discover that the whole idea was some manner of fanciful dream. But that doesn't stop him from all but basking in Haurchefant's attention and kindly doting, whenever they have moments that aren't taken up by responsibilities or others. So many other people who seem to want to have an opinion or say in the marriage. It's a bit overwhelming to the little miqo'te admittedly.

But so long as he's happy, and so long as Haurchefant is happy, that's all that truly matters to him.

It had been more habit than anything that had Mikka writing to his parents when he had been arranging correspondence. A dim hope that had him mentioning the marriage to come. Logically he knew that no matter how many letters he sent, that his parents had never replied, never even read them more than likely. He remembered keenly the stack of them he'd seen on his last visit when he'd been in Ul'dah, left by some well-meaning maid but clearly not even a thing to be focused on even so much as to clear them away.

It meant that seeing the Cherrier seal on one of the letters he'd received was admittedly something of a surprise. He couldn't help the way fingers shook ever so faintly as he sliced open the seal, some cautious delight blooming at the familiar handwriting-

But then the tone of the letter sank in. The utterly detached formality of it, the utter disinterest other than a vague sort of annoyance that with the absolute pick of the litter he'd chosen the way he had. He couldn't help the way he just sank in his seat, ears laid flat as he tried his very best to choke back the sensation of hurt, frustrated tears that welled up, had the neat-inked words wavering in his vision. Of course. Why had he ever expected anything else? What a foolish thing he was.

[suitsahero]

Haurchefant meanwhile has been dealing with people who's opinions he cared about much less and is a bundle of energy slipping into the room. There's no attempt to be sneaky, but his trajectory has him coming up from behind so he doesn't immediately read the mood, draping his arms over Mikka's shoulder and pressing his icy cold nose into his neck playfully.

He's saying something about having talked to the patissier about the wedding sweets, but even he's not really paying attention to it, the way he's nuzzling into Mikka's neck much more important for the moment.

[darlingdatura]

It might be hard to determine the mood of the raspy little feline noise that accompanied Mikka's start when those arms slipped around him and Haurchefant was playfully nuzzling his chilled face against warm skin. The sound was close enough to the sort of chirps the Elezen regularly won from him with similar antics after all.

The tension in him might be a hint though as the lump in his throat rendered him otherwise mute as his intended was cheerily talking to him about the patissier. A thread of guilt winding through him suddenly at the idea of spoiling Haurchefant's happy tone with this... outburst of his, but with the letters contents fresh, it was a struggle to try and urge a lighter mood in himself in kind, a faint tremor in his shoulders as he was doing his best to swallow back that raw hurt, just like he'd done his entire life.

And yet with Haurchefant right there, so warm and comforting, he was finding it much more difficult to drag himself back under emotional wraps.

[suitsahero]

Haurchefant is a bit over the top, a bit much, boisterous where other Ishgardians play things closer to their chest, but he's also extremely empathetic, particularly where people he cares about are involved. So he does pick up on the tension, the silence, after the first few moments and the teasing kisses turn softer, more conciliatory,

"Is something the matter, darling?" the endearment would sound silly from anyone else, maybe even patronizing, but he's so sincere about it. "Did something happen?" He's more thinking that perhaps someone was rude to him in the Croizier or somesuch. There are occasionally members of other races here, but it's few and far between. It can be difficult to be any kind of an outsider here.

[darlingdatura]

Where others might find that boisterous nature a bit much, Mikka typically enjoys it. So he feels more of that guilt twisting him when Haurchefant clearly recognizes that something is wrong, the affection shifting to something gentler and soothing.

"I wrote my parents," He managed quietly after a few steadying breaths. "A habit really, just telling them about what I've been doing. They never answered before, but I figured they'd like to know about the marriage, that they might be happy for me, assuming the letter was even read."

His tone, that flat blunt sort of hurt that came part and parcel with hope just worn down over time, likely didn't sound at all right coming from someone so normally sweet and optimistic.

"I suppose I must be as foolish as mother thinks me to hope they would express anything beyond the barest of dismay that I squandered an opportunity on childish stupidity." It was easy to see the shift in him, how even just the written reply had the miqo'te retreating a bit, burgeoning confidence clearly damaged as he stared at the paper still clutched in his hands. It was easy to see the shift, how utterly withdrawn he'd undoubtedly been living in their household in the way he'd withered in tone and posture. "I suppose I should just be grateful that they replied this time..."

[suitsahero]

Haurchefant considers this for a moment and then just places a hand firmly on the back of the sofa and then vaults it, so he can gather Mikka up in his arms. He's always had a strangely high place in his father's heart, but not so his stepmother, so he can absolutely understand part of what Mikka's going through. Still, there's a loving family here, if his place in it is a bit strained at times. And he might not be a cunning politician when held up against people like his father or Ser Aymeric, but he has kept the church off his back, has managed to claw his way into a position of some kind of power. He does understand the game, even though he doesn't often play it.

"If anything is childish stupidity, I would think it would be writing a letter more concerned with your disappointment in your son's political marriage and not the death of your monarch and just sending it out where anyone could read it. You could ruin them." He cards his fingers through Mikka's hair, fingers petting along his ears,

"It isn't foolish to hope for acceptance," he adds, more seriously.

[darlingdatura]

If the Cherriers had been a loving family, that had died before Mikka was brought into the picture. His earliest memories of his adoptive parents seeing that utter disappointment when it was clear he was nothing like Alwin. After that, any chance of interest in him had withered quickly, for all Mikka had desperately railed against it.

The little miqo'te didn't resist being scooped into Haurchefant's arms, just sinking in against him, tears streaking his face as he hid it against the elezen's chest, fingers curling against the letter still in his grasp. Even his ears were tense, quivering under Haurchefant's gentle touch, tail flicking and twitching across his legs as he just curled into as small a bundle as he could manage.

"It was stupid though... thinking they'd care this time," Mikka mumbled dully into his fiance's coat. "Should just accept that I'm not good enough but I just-"

The train of unhappy thought was interrupted by a faint hiccup, that resolved itself into a sob which Mikka immediately was trying to force back.

[suitsahero]

Haurchefant wraps him up as much as possible, drags him in against him.

"It's okay to cry, you don't have to hold it in around me," he feathers a kiss on the top of Mikka's head, "I understand. But you're also good enough for the Scions, for the world. You saved all of Eorzea, even us, who wouldn't even stand with you. If that's not 'good enough' for anyone, I don't understand how that could possibly be your failing."

He continues petting through Mikka's hair, rubbing soothingly at his ears,

"I know how pervasive that desire to impress can be. But you're good enough for me."

[darlingdatura]

But it was, wasn't it? Something about him was offputting enough that even as a small child he'd been pushed aside. But he didn't have the will or the want to argue with Haurchefant. Wanted his kind assurances to be true, selfish as it felt in his current state.

Unable to help when he did start to cry, just clinging to Haurchefant as he did, soaking up the warmth and comfort that was being so lovingly offered. And it was all he wanted really, not to be lauded or praised, but just... to be enough, to deserve even a little bit of love.

Haurchefant wouldn't lie about that. And surely he was allowed to have that?

[suitsahero]

He leans in a little more and plants kisses along Mikka's ears, the top of his head, slow and sweet.

"You're the most amazing person I know. I've never met anyone like you. I know that that's not the same, but please, be at some kind of peace knowing that. I don't care about their opinion or anyone else's. I'm proud to even so much as get to call you a dear friend. This, more, seems so far beyond anything I could have wished for."

He gently pries the letter out of Mikka's fingers, sets it aside on the table to twine his own fingers with his instead,

"I won't tell you they don't matter, because I know that they do. But I do think you should look at how much they weigh versus the weight of everyone else who loves and cares for you. You fly under our banner now. You're part of our family. You don't need to rely on them anymore."

[darlingdatura]

Mikka doesn't resist. Lets Haurchefant press those soft kisses against his ears, even lets the letter be tugged from his grasp, curling his fingers near-immediately around the hand that replaced it, craving the reassurance being offered here in words and actions.

It did soothe him, some barbed knot easing in his heart as his crying quieted. He stayed where he was, tucked close to the elezen but it seemed borne less of that desperate sorrow of moments before, instead just finding comfort in Haurchefant's presence.

"Why are you so utterly perfect in every way?" He inquired in a watery tone, with a faint quiver of a chuckle. "Y-you must share your secret with me."

[suitsahero]

"I'm not perfect in any way," he protests, but it's a soft protest, his head leaning on top of Mikka's, "Please don't think that. I'm at least as fallible as the next man, likely moreso. Someone thinking you're lovely and wonderful shouldn't be something special. Everyone should adore you."

There's not really room to pull Mikka any closer, but he's trying anyway, hands soothing over wherever they land with a gentle tug ever inward. It's sweetly covetous, physical proof of his words,

"I do, you know. Adore you. Your deeds first, of course, who else are we to strangers except what we have done? But every part of you I have uncovered since then only makes me care for you more. Even the parts you seem to think make you weak or unlovable," he closes his eyes, pressing another soft kiss to the top of Mikka's head, "You can't possibly know the extent of what I would do for you. Ask anything of me that is mine to give and it is yours."

[darlingdatura]

As close as he can get or no, those gentle tugs and touches of Haurchefant's hands soothes that ache in him. Physical proof that he's wanted, that he's so very much adored as the elezen was saying. He knew that the man wouldn't lie about such a thing, but the contact still helped in comforting him.

"To me you are though. Foibles and all, just as you are," Mikka protested gently, staying right where he was cuddled in close, cheek resting against him where he could feel the gentle beat of his heart. "If you can think me so wonderful and lovely, surely I can think you absolutely perfect for me?

[suitsahero]

"Hm. 'For you' then, perhaps I'll allow it," Mikka can feel his grin against his ear. "If nothing else, to argue against that is to advocate against my own self-interest, since I'm rather interested in keeping you," it's teasing, but the sentiment is sincere.

He's been letting Mikka curl up against him as much as he wants, but he finally moves to separate them, though it's just enough to let him tip Mikka's head up for a gentle, warm kiss.