for darlingdatura

[suitsahero]

There is only one thing Haurchefant hates more than being the bearer of bad news and that's being the bearer of news when he's not sure whether it's good or bad news. At least with bad news, one can prepare oneself appropriately, know what kind of reaction you're liable to get. But with something like this...

He's given orders to pile the intercessory's fireplace high with logs, to try to make sure that Mikka will not be overly cold, but it seems like the poor Miqote is cold practically everywhere in Ishgard. He comes bearing hot chocolate to go with his... news of an indeterminate sort, having had one of his men fetch Mikka to the intercessory several minutes prior. It's been a habit of his to do so every time he returns from Ishgard, to brief them on how their asylum status is going and catch them up on news of the wider world, when there is any to be had in the isolationist country.

That Haurchefant has asked Mikka to come alone, though, is unusual, potentially giving away that this is no ordinary debriefing. Still, Haurchefant manages a sunny smile for the Warrior of Light as he pushes his way into the room with the chocolate,

"Sorry I'm a bit late! I had to make sure the chocolate was just right," the smile hedges more entirely genuine, touches his eyes as he sets the mug down in front of Mikka, "It is good to see you again, friend, though I suppose it has been only days since last I did. I confess, I've grown too used to it."

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[darlingdatura]

It likely hadn't helped that the miqo'te had been forced to flee Thanalan with naught but the clothes on his back and what little could be scrounged up along the way. Winter clothes had been found but the sorts of cold that Ishgard and it's lands felt weren't a thing Mikka ever felt he'd be prepared for after a lifetime in desert climes. So he was more than grateful for the fire in the hearth of the intercessory, lingering there until he felt less of the cold that seemed ever-present, and his tail wasn't nearly as bottlebrush as it seemed to constantly be.

Uncertain about the news Haurchefant might be bringing, especially with him being the only one asked to come, that didn't stop a shy but pleased little smile from him when he saw the Elezen, especially as bright as his smile was.

"It's quite alright, gave me a little time to thaw out some," Mikka replied in a light, cautiously joking tone as he wrapped fingers around the warmth of the mug. "Mere days or no, it always seems strange to not see you about anyways."

[suitsahero]

Haurchefant thinks for a moment about stretching this out, not out of any cruelty, but surely if he just had a moment, he could think of a way to break this that would make it less shocking. Never mind that he hasn't been able to think of that way the whole way from Ishgard.

"I bring... news," his tone makes it very clear that he doesn't know how to feel about the news. "It isn't... necessarily bad news, but it's... complicated and I do think perhaps you'd better sit. Here, I can pull you a chair by the fire, if you wish." It's the least he can do, before he pulls up his own and settles.

It makes it sound like there's some kind of tactical nature to this, a decision to be made, but surely if that were the case, they should have Alphinaud here, shouldn't they?

[darlingdatura]

"O-oh, thank you." Mikka murmured, settling into the chair offered. He wasn't sure what to think about things yet, but it was... strange to see Haurchefant so uncertain when normally the Elezen came across as such a cheerful fount of confidence.

"If... this news is as complicated as you say, should we not have Alphinaud here as well?" The miqo'te asked softly, before taking a moment to sip his drink, mostly to give himself something to do rather than fidget.

[suitsahero]

"I'd think you'd want a moment to consider in private. Well, relative private anyway," since he's also still here. But he does feel like it's better said than written, so that's inevitable, "But you may wish to get his opinion later, if you wish. The decision, however, will certainly need to be yours."

He takes a sip of his hot chocolate, composing himself, but he doesn't want to draw this out, so he continues, as evenly as he can manage,

"The Holy See has stated their final opinion on your plea for asylum. There are to be no exceptions to the rules of Ishgardian immigration made, even for the Warrior of Light," he holds up a hand, before he has to bear too much of Mikka's disappointment, "However, the Archbishop was quick to point out that he wouldn't be so unenlightened as to not allow a hero of the realm entry-- simply that you would need to conform first to the pre-existing ways in which one can become a citizen of Ishgard."

He's not deliberately keeping anything from Mikka or dragging it out, but information has to follow in a certain order here, and he wants to give that a moment to sink in, before the rest of it.

It is, however, clear that there's some reason this is not ideal, or they wouldn't have been asking for an exception in the first place.

[darlingdatura]

It's unusual really, to see Haurchefant being so delicate about his words. Not that he was brash, or rude, but usually he seemed to at least come across with a boyish sort of ease, a thing that was incredibly charming combined with the good cheer he always seemed to hold. Mikka was unsure if it made him feel better or worse in this case.

Predictably enough, the initial news had his ears dropping immediately, though the gesture forestalled any real commentary. It was a possibility they'd known, but that didn't mean it wasn't upsetting. Which meant as Haurchefant continued, Mikka's ears pricked again, but despite the idea that his door to Ishgard wasn't yet closed permanently, his brows furrowed.

If this was such a simple thing to do, they wouldn't have had to lobby for an exception, which had Mikka wondering just what the pre-existing way was.

"Well..." He began slowly, fingers fidgeting against his mug. "Why don't you tell me about this... pre-existing way. And then we can go from there?"

[suitsahero]

"There are a few of them, actually. You can owe an Ishgardian a life debt, which you would be unable to pay off without accompanying them into Ishgard. You can become a priest of Halone or renounce your other oaths of whatever country you hailed from and join the Knights Heavenly. But none of those things would leave you in any way free to pursue your goals," he takes a sip of the chocolate as though it's something stronger, to fortify himself.

"Or you can marry someone from one of the Ishgardian noble houses. You would be immediately considered a citizen the moment the ceremony was complete and you would, of course, be not only allowed but expected to be in Ishgard in preparation for the wedding."

It comes out a bit too casual. Haurchefant isn't good at hiding his opinions of things and it's clear he doesn't like this idea any more than Mikka is likely to.

[darlingdatura]

It was quite clear that the first options were less than ideal, given the very problem that Haurchefant himself had pointed out. And while the last was not ideal either... there was something of a grim humor in the idea, that had a thin smile remaining as the miqo'te huffed something close to a laugh.

"Effective, to say the least," He mused, staring down at his cup. "And like as not a better reason to wed than for increasing my parent's fortunes and standing."

He'd known, for all his idealistic romanticism, that his marriage would be arranged for something other than love. "I can't imagine, giving the... more insular culture, that all of the houses would be thrilled with this idea though."

[suitsahero]

Haurchefant can't help the way his eyebrows shoot towards his hairline in surprise. He'd expected Mikka to refuse on principle, he realizes, that there's no way he would ever even consider such a thing. But the comment about his parent's fortunes harkens back to some other small details they've shared with one another when they can find time to talk about more than killing dragons and rescuing friends, and he thinks, perhaps it shouldn't have. That Ishgard's insularity is part of the immediate problems thought of and not marrying to get into a country says a lot about Mikka, he thinks.

Well. Alright then. He's still not sold on the idea, himself, but if Mikka's not going to be sad about it, then he's not going to either,

"I think it would be a hard sell for anyone from Dzemael, certainly. The other High Houses, perhaps not as much as you'd think. Worrying about heirs is certainly a concern, which might rule out Durendaire as well," he muses, "Either one of my brothers are a possibility, I would hazard a guess and there's certainly no way Francel would refuse after you saved his life," he can't help a small smile, "We're not known for marrying for love all that often in Ishgard in general and certainly in the High Houses. Any one of them would likely be willing to assist you in a more... transactional sense, I would think." He muses further,

"I would think there'd be a fair number in the lesser nobility as well-- you're not unknown, even in Ishgard, and there's a fair few eligible young men and women who would not be opposed to being 'taken off the market', I'd wager, no matter who you were. I could certainly arrange a meeting."

[darlingdatura]

He wasn't thrilled with it. Likely would have more emotions bubble to the surface about it as time passed and that was assuming it happened at all. It hinged on finding a willing match after all. But he'd known since he was young that his choice wouldn't be his own so any upset was muted, a thing mourned and accepted long ago.

Mikka listened to what Haurchefant was saying. And while part of him still hoped for at the very least friendship in whatever marriage he ended in, he could also in a way accept the idea of something more transactional, as the elezen had put it. Not that he would be especially happy, but then...

This wasn't about being happy. This was about a goal, about the needs of so many stacking their hopes and dreams on his shoulders. So long as the person they found didn't hate him, he'd deal.

But that didn't stop a faint furrow of brows at the list, and one specific person not on it. Ears flicking faintly as he peered up at Haurchefant in askance. "You... didn't mention yourself. Are you married already then?"

Or maybe he didn't want to be. Or maybe he just didn't want to marry Mikka. And he knew the man was too kind to say as much if that was the case. Not in so many direct words that was.

[suitsahero]

Haurchefant wears his heart on his sleeve much more than other Ishgardians, but he's still Ishgardian. There's a certain amount of tactiturness and stoicism that just seems kind of baked into the people, here, likely from a millennia of war in the chill winds of Coerthas, cold even before the Calamity turned it constantly snowy. There are burdens he doesn't talk much about, and this touches one of them, enough so that he's immediately dismissive without really hearing what Mikka is saying,

"No, of course not. My men might respect me as a commander, but no Ishgardian is going to willingly take the name Greystone. Not even to have their children be a member of a High House," Much like Mikka has known his entire life that he wouldn't be allowed a choice in who to marry, Haurchefant has known that regardless of who he might find or what he might wish, that particular happiness was never going to be his. His stepmother had known quite well what she was doing there.

And, too, if Mikka thinks about it, though everyone seems to know that Haurchefant is a terrible flirt, open with his affections toward adventurers in a land where everything is inhospitable to them, Mikka's never once seen him display those same flirtations to any Ishgardians. Perhaps that's just because they're under his care-- but even his interactions with Lord Francel had seemed... muted, somehow.

And speaking of Lord Francel...

"Francel would be my choice, out of the most readily available options. He's already familiar with you and likes you a great deal and word of your bravery in regards to him is fairly well known. It would be a tale people would find charming enough, I think, to ease your way within Ishgard. And Francel is one of my dearest friends," his tone is softer, affection clear in it, "I have often been worried he would end up engaged to someone unpalatable just to increase his family's fortunes. It would be a considerable comfort to know he's instead found someone like you."

[darlingdatura]

But I'm not Ishgardian-

The protest died immediately on his tongue at how quickly and almost absently Haurchefant shut down that subject, ears flicking down as his gaze dropped to his cocoa. He hadn't expected the rush of disappointment there, a bitter thing that almost choked him as Haurchefant continued to speak, to extol the idea of Francel as a potential match. And Mikka knew he was right, that the idea would surely seem charming to the Ishgardians, that it would be certain that they could be friends...

But that didn't stop him from grappling with that rising upset, a thing that seemed so much more pointed now that they were talking about the specific options instead of the abstract of it, more painful now with the slow-growing revelation that Mikka might have more of an opinion of who he would want to wed than he'd thought. Not that this showed- for all the miqo'te was so very easy to read typically, he'd gotten very good at hiding disappointment, and what seriousness showed surely could be attributed to the seriousness of the situation.

[suitsahero]

Haurchefant isn't aware that he was ever an option, so he can only misinterpret the downturn of Mikka's ears as he keeps speaking,

"Perhaps Lady Laniaitte, then? You've not met her, but she's a warrior in her own right, Francel's sister, and she's spoken of you in glowing terms in the abstract, at least. I confess I wasn't thinking of... ah... a gender preference, considering the union is political in nature. There's also Heustienne, she's adopted nobility, but it should make little difference in this case. I imagine she'd protest the idea somewhat, but she's certainly someone who I think could be brought around to the thought that then she would not have to marry someone else."

None of this has, of course, helped the slightly downturned look Mikka is wearing but, again, there's no way to fully comprehend why, so Haurchefant reaches out a hand across the space between them and lays it warmly over Mikka's on his hot chocolate,

"Forgive me, my friend. You should have time to think on all of this. It may make searching for your companions more difficult, but you need not enter Ishgard at all if you do not wish to. You may stay here as my guest for as long as you wish and, indeed, I cannot help but admit I am happier here for your company. It is only with reluctance I would give it up at all."

[darlingdatura]

He tried to keep it under wraps. To bear it as he always bore those personal sorrows, but it was too much, with Haurchefant speaking of others as if he didn't even factor in. The soft touch to Mikka's hand was what seemed to crack the dam in this case, that soft sort of kind reassurance, the miqo'te shaking his head abruptly.

"I'm not Ishgardian," He spoke up suddenly, startling even himself it seemed. "I don't care about names-" He could feel the faint prick of tears at the corners of his eyes, cursed himself for being so unable to mask this as his gaze lifted to meet Haurchefant's.

"If you simply don't wish to wed me I can understand that," And he could- he was no ideal match, small and nervous, lesser than in some way that had dogged him his entire life. "But otherwise why couldn't it be you?"

[suitsahero]

Time passes, as it does, and the date of the wedding creeps closer. Haurchefant is still a little ready for all of this to vanish, to not be true, for something to come up. He's been pretty good about not being clingy about it, but it's also impossible for him to not dote on his future fiancé, lingering often with Mikka as they've worked through all the legal business of getting Mikka refugee status. The wedding itself is much easier, in many respects, is itself less political even if the marriage itself is.

Not that Haurchefant minds that. He's had to fend off a number of "well-meaning" nobles with both questions about him marrying an "outsider" and insinuations that he doesn't deserve to be marrying at all, much less to someone who's as prominent as Mikka. There's surprisingly little from anyone about the fact that Mikka's been accused of regicide, but then it's not as though the gossipmongers really care if he gets murdered. He doesn't mind that, either. Not when he gets to come back to the Fortemps manor and snuggle with his adorable, sexy, amazing fiancé on the couch.

Which is what he's currently headed to do, only bothering to shake off the worst of the snow and the heaviest of his outer layers on the way, dressed casually instead of in his armor for the time being since he's off-duty, here.

[darlingdatura]

Much the same, Mikka is still half-expecting to wake one morning and discover that the whole idea was some manner of fanciful dream. But that doesn't stop him from all but basking in Haurchefant's attention and kindly doting, whenever they have moments that aren't taken up by responsibilities or others. So many other people who seem to want to have an opinion or say in the marriage. It's a bit overwhelming to the little miqo'te admittedly.

But so long as he's happy, and so long as Haurchefant is happy, that's all that truly matters to him.

It had been more habit than anything that had Mikka writing to his parents when he had been arranging correspondence. A dim hope that had him mentioning the marriage to come. Logically he knew that no matter how many letters he sent, that his parents had never replied, never even read them more than likely. He remembered keenly the stack of them he'd seen on his last visit when he'd been in Ul'dah, left by some well-meaning maid but clearly not even a thing to be focused on even so much as to clear them away.

It meant that seeing the Cherrier seal on one of the letters he'd received was admittedly something of a surprise. He couldn't help the way fingers shook ever so faintly as he sliced open the seal, some cautious delight blooming at the familiar handwriting-

But then the tone of the letter sank in. The utterly detached formality of it, the utter disinterest other than a vague sort of annoyance that with the absolute pick of the litter he'd chosen the way he had. He couldn't help the way he just sank in his seat, ears laid flat as he tried his very best to choke back the sensation of hurt, frustrated tears that welled up, had the neat-inked words wavering in his vision. Of course. Why had he ever expected anything else? What a foolish thing he was.

[suitsahero]

Haurchefant meanwhile has been dealing with people who's opinions he cared about much less and is a bundle of energy slipping into the room. There's no attempt to be sneaky, but his trajectory has him coming up from behind so he doesn't immediately read the mood, draping his arms over Mikka's shoulder and pressing his icy cold nose into his neck playfully.

He's saying something about having talked to the patissier about the wedding sweets, but even he's not really paying attention to it, the way he's nuzzling into Mikka's neck much more important for the moment.

[darlingdatura]

It might be hard to determine the mood of the raspy little feline noise that accompanied Mikka's start when those arms slipped around him and Haurchefant was playfully nuzzling his chilled face against warm skin. The sound was close enough to the sort of chirps the Elezen regularly won from him with similar antics after all.

The tension in him might be a hint though as the lump in his throat rendered him otherwise mute as his intended was cheerily talking to him about the patissier. A thread of guilt winding through him suddenly at the idea of spoiling Haurchefant's happy tone with this... outburst of his, but with the letters contents fresh, it was a struggle to try and urge a lighter mood in himself in kind, a faint tremor in his shoulders as he was doing his best to swallow back that raw hurt, just like he'd done his entire life.

And yet with Haurchefant right there, so warm and comforting, he was finding it much more difficult to drag himself back under emotional wraps.

[suitsahero]

Haurchefant is a bit over the top, a bit much, boisterous where other Ishgardians play things closer to their chest, but he's also extremely empathetic, particularly where people he cares about are involved. So he does pick up on the tension, the silence, after the first few moments and the teasing kisses turn softer, more conciliatory,

"Is something the matter, darling?" the endearment would sound silly from anyone else, maybe even patronizing, but he's so sincere about it. "Did something happen?" He's more thinking that perhaps someone was rude to him in the Croizier or somesuch. There are occasionally members of other races here, but it's few and far between. It can be difficult to be any kind of an outsider here.

[darlingdatura]

Where others might find that boisterous nature a bit much, Mikka typically enjoys it. So he feels more of that guilt twisting him when Haurchefant clearly recognizes that something is wrong, the affection shifting to something gentler and soothing.

"I wrote my parents," He managed quietly after a few steadying breaths. "A habit really, just telling them about what I've been doing. They never answered before, but I figured they'd like to know about the marriage, that they might be happy for me, assuming the letter was even read."

His tone, that flat blunt sort of hurt that came part and parcel with hope just worn down over time, likely didn't sound at all right coming from someone so normally sweet and optimistic.

"I suppose I must be as foolish as mother thinks me to hope they would express anything beyond the barest of dismay that I squandered an opportunity on childish stupidity." It was easy to see the shift in him, how even just the written reply had the miqo'te retreating a bit, burgeoning confidence clearly damaged as he stared at the paper still clutched in his hands. It was easy to see the shift, how utterly withdrawn he'd undoubtedly been living in their household in the way he'd withered in tone and posture. "I suppose I should just be grateful that they replied this time..."

[suitsahero]

Haurchefant considers this for a moment and then just places a hand firmly on the back of the sofa and then vaults it, so he can gather Mikka up in his arms. He's always had a strangely high place in his father's heart, but not so his stepmother, so he can absolutely understand part of what Mikka's going through. Still, there's a loving family here, if his place in it is a bit strained at times. And he might not be a cunning politician when held up against people like his father or Ser Aymeric, but he has kept the church off his back, has managed to claw his way into a position of some kind of power. He does understand the game, even though he doesn't often play it.

"If anything is childish stupidity, I would think it would be writing a letter more concerned with your disappointment in your son's political marriage and not the death of your monarch and just sending it out where anyone could read it. You could ruin them." He cards his fingers through Mikka's hair, fingers petting along his ears,

"It isn't foolish to hope for acceptance," he adds, more seriously.

[darlingdatura]

If the Cherriers had been a loving family, that had died before Mikka was brought into the picture. His earliest memories of his adoptive parents seeing that utter disappointment when it was clear he was nothing like Alwin. After that, any chance of interest in him had withered quickly, for all Mikka had desperately railed against it.

The little miqo'te didn't resist being scooped into Haurchefant's arms, just sinking in against him, tears streaking his face as he hid it against the elezen's chest, fingers curling against the letter still in his grasp. Even his ears were tense, quivering under Haurchefant's gentle touch, tail flicking and twitching across his legs as he just curled into as small a bundle as he could manage.

"It was stupid though... thinking they'd care this time," Mikka mumbled dully into his fiance's coat. "Should just accept that I'm not good enough but I just-"

The train of unhappy thought was interrupted by a faint hiccup, that resolved itself into a sob which Mikka immediately was trying to force back.

[suitsahero]

Haurchefant wraps him up as much as possible, drags him in against him.

"It's okay to cry, you don't have to hold it in around me," he feathers a kiss on the top of Mikka's head, "I understand. But you're also good enough for the Scions, for the world. You saved all of Eorzea, even us, who wouldn't even stand with you. If that's not 'good enough' for anyone, I don't understand how that could possibly be your failing."

He continues petting through Mikka's hair, rubbing soothingly at his ears,

"I know how pervasive that desire to impress can be. But you're good enough for me."

[darlingdatura]

But it was, wasn't it? Something about him was offputting enough that even as a small child he'd been pushed aside. But he didn't have the will or the want to argue with Haurchefant. Wanted his kind assurances to be true, selfish as it felt in his current state.

Unable to help when he did start to cry, just clinging to Haurchefant as he did, soaking up the warmth and comfort that was being so lovingly offered. And it was all he wanted really, not to be lauded or praised, but just... to be enough, to deserve even a little bit of love.

Haurchefant wouldn't lie about that. And surely he was allowed to have that?

[suitsahero]

He leans in a little more and plants kisses along Mikka's ears, the top of his head, slow and sweet.

"You're the most amazing person I know. I've never met anyone like you. I know that that's not the same, but please, be at some kind of peace knowing that. I don't care about their opinion or anyone else's. I'm proud to even so much as get to call you a dear friend. This, more, seems so far beyond anything I could have wished for."

He gently pries the letter out of Mikka's fingers, sets it aside on the table to twine his own fingers with his instead,

"I won't tell you they don't matter, because I know that they do. But I do think you should look at how much they weigh versus the weight of everyone else who loves and cares for you. You fly under our banner now. You're part of our family. You don't need to rely on them anymore."

[darlingdatura]

Mikka doesn't resist. Lets Haurchefant press those soft kisses against his ears, even lets the letter be tugged from his grasp, curling his fingers near-immediately around the hand that replaced it, craving the reassurance being offered here in words and actions.

It did soothe him, some barbed knot easing in his heart as his crying quieted. He stayed where he was, tucked close to the elezen but it seemed borne less of that desperate sorrow of moments before, instead just finding comfort in Haurchefant's presence.

"Why are you so utterly perfect in every way?" He inquired in a watery tone, with a faint quiver of a chuckle. "Y-you must share your secret with me."