for darlingdatura

[suitsahero]

There is only one thing Haurchefant hates more than being the bearer of bad news and that's being the bearer of news when he's not sure whether it's good or bad news. At least with bad news, one can prepare oneself appropriately, know what kind of reaction you're liable to get. But with something like this...

He's given orders to pile the intercessory's fireplace high with logs, to try to make sure that Mikka will not be overly cold, but it seems like the poor Miqote is cold practically everywhere in Ishgard. He comes bearing hot chocolate to go with his... news of an indeterminate sort, having had one of his men fetch Mikka to the intercessory several minutes prior. It's been a habit of his to do so every time he returns from Ishgard, to brief them on how their asylum status is going and catch them up on news of the wider world, when there is any to be had in the isolationist country.

That Haurchefant has asked Mikka to come alone, though, is unusual, potentially giving away that this is no ordinary debriefing. Still, Haurchefant manages a sunny smile for the Warrior of Light as he pushes his way into the room with the chocolate,

"Sorry I'm a bit late! I had to make sure the chocolate was just right," the smile hedges more entirely genuine, touches his eyes as he sets the mug down in front of Mikka, "It is good to see you again, friend, though I suppose it has been only days since last I did. I confess, I've grown too used to it."

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[darlingdatura]

While Mikka might not be familiar with Ishgardian culture, he was however familiar with Ul'dah. And the culture there, a family with trueborn heirs and one half...

He was not as ignorant of the position Haurchefant found himself in as the elezen might think. He simply didn't see that as important in his own opinion of the man, of his own selfish, selfish want to link himself to this warm, utterly kind man who was trying to brush and kiss away those tears.

"It is," He whispers, feeling elated and monstrous in the same turn, for all he knew logically that feeling guilt over voicing a want of his own was foolish. He was allowed to want things for himself, to want to be happy... right? "I... if I could have but one, single thing for myself, it would be that."

[suitsahero]

"I feel as though I am taking terrible advantage of the situation," he admits, softly, "but if you swear it is what you want, I will not refuse you." No, that is not quite what he means, and he wipes away another tear to add, "I do not want to refuse you. I only wish that perhaps such a decision could have been made more special, less necessary. But perhaps that is overly selfish-- to already have the moon and wish the stars as well."

Truthfully, he's not sure if he would have agreed so quickly were it not necessary. It is not something he'd ever thought to have, but when he allowed himself to think on an impossibility, he had imagined something romantic, something born of desire and not dire circumstance. He knows how deeply he cares for Mikka, but he has not had a chance to be allowed to consider loving him and so he isn't wholly sure.

But the necessity absolves him of the decision entirely and he does, truly, find that he considers himself blessed for the opportunity to love, if nothing further.

"There will be additional considerations," he can't help but add, "The transition to Ishgard society itself will not be easy. I carry a stigma, whether you see it that way or not, and you will bear it as well," he has to warn him, still feels like he somehow needs to make Mikka see reason on this, even as he hopes that he will not.

One of his hands curls in one of Mikka's, the other still on his face, and he brings Mikka's knuckles up to his mouth, brushing his lips over them gently but fervently.

[darlingdatura]

"I find I can swear this easily." Mikka replies with a soft, watery laugh. Still teary, but Haurchefant is being so sweet and attentive that it wouldn't take too long for the tears to slow, then stop. Though that didn't mean the miqo'te would be pulling away from the gentle touch of the hand against his cheek. No, not when the affection was a thing he craved.

Would this have come up if not for the sudden necessity? Would Mikka have ever found the courage to chase Haurchefant? He wasn't sure, hoped he would have, but also knew how easily he dismissed any attention or attraction towards himself as simple politeness. Needed or no, this did offer a chance, a thing that he was hopeful for the opportunity it offered, especially with the elezen's sweet comment on being given the moon in this.

"I care not," He decides as he says it in response to that warning, fingers curling against Haurchefant's at that gentle brush of lips, cheeks flushing pink. "I... have lived my life in the shadow of another, who I could never hope to be the equal of, who I never met. Only known through the stories told of him, the painting over the mantle. Known since I was small that my place in the world was lesser with how I was found wanting in comparison to him. That I had no way to... earn the love of those who I so dearly wanted it from."

It wasn't a thing he spoke of. Never in such terms anyways, it was known he was adopted, that his parents had a son who'd perished before he was brought into their lives. Beyond that... he didn't share. Who would it help to hear such a thing from the Warrior of Light? It could only hurt morale. "You see none of that... simply being around you makes me feel as if the sun might just shine on me, that I might be worth love without having to earn it. In the face of that... I can bear stigma."

[suitsahero]

Haurchefant hums softly in acknowledgement of what he's been told, shifts to rub his cheek comfortingly against Mikka's fingers in sympathy, rather than pity,

"My father is a good man and he's always treated me with dignity and respect. The rest of the world... has mostly not been so kind," and yet, Haurchefant has turned into one of the kindest people Mikka knows, has always refused to return that. Perhaps they are well suited on that alone. "Perhaps I am a fool to only warn you, but I find I am not strong enough to push you away for the sake of it. Whether the sun shines on you or not, I will. I can do nothing less."

There's a beat there, and then, as though he's just realized it himself (which, in a way, he has-- it is always in his mind, but pushes desperate to the forefront just now...) he adds,

"I find I should very much like to kiss you right now, if you'd allow."

[darlingdatura]

Mikka looks positively entranced at the warmth of skin against his fingers, ears perking as he listened to what was said. Clearly well suited in this matter, a soft smile quirking his lips.

"The world might not be kind... but you are, and I am so very glad for it, and can only imagine that I'm not the only one." The miqo'te hummed, studying the elezen as if seeing him for the first time. "The idea of wedding you is... a comfort in a way. Already you are a dear friend, and I find myself hopeful at the idea of us being more than."

True enough- while he'd never assumed he'd get a happy ending of that sort, that romantic, idealistic side of him still clearly had clung to the idea logic or no, a flush crossing his cheeks at the soft question asked, an almost shy cast to the smile as he nodded in answer.

"I... find I should very much like to be kissed."

[suitsahero]

This hasn't been only a physical attraction in a long time. Certainly, Haurchefant has a... well, a habit, really, of sleeping with whatever beautiful adventurer has crossed his path. He'd be lying if he said Mikka had started any different. A bit of flirting, a few offers made with some amount of plausible deniability, and a fair number of just-passing-throughs were convinced to have some assistance warming up in the cold, Coerthan climates. Mikka hadn't fallen into his bed then and that was fine, but it didn't make him any less lovely.

And then he'd actually gotten to know him, first with Francel and then again with the heretics and now... now... Well, he would have said love might be a bit strong, but he's found the regard and care he holds for Mikka runs deep. He's certainly not lying when he says that love isn't something he thinks he will have to look long or far for. It seems almost inevitable.

Still, that admiration started as a physical attraction. It's no struggle to keep things simple. The moment itself is still a somewhat perilous one, things hanging in the balance. It's easy to lean up just a bit more, in, and gently use the hand already on Mikka's face to tip him into his, the kiss gentle and sweet, with a banked-but-obvious bit of heat behind it. Haurchefant knows precisely how to kiss so it's obvious he's holding back the desire to kiss deeper, more, without it seeming dangerous. He's good at first kisses.

What he can't hide is the shiver that runs down his spine at the return sensation, Mikka's lips warm on his, or how much more than a second or two in the kiss will beget more of them, a very slight tremor to his hands.

[darlingdatura]

If Mikka had noticed the flirting, he'd simply figured it was just Haurchefant's way of being playful at first. It was so difficult at times for him to realize that someone was flirting that it often went right over his head and he missed it entirely. But thankfully enough the elezen never seemed to take offense, allowing their friendship to blossom regardless. And Mikka would be lying if he said he wasn't absolutely smitten with him.

No, he thought love in this case... would not be a thing hard-found between them.

Inexperienced as he was, he followed the gentle nudge of Haurchefant's hand, a soft almost surprised little noise let out into the kiss, though clearly nothing bad as he didn't try to stop, or draw away. Woefully out of his element here, but thankfully it seemed the elezen had a better idea of what to do, saving them from awkward fumblings, and allowing the miqo'te to follow his lead. It was... everything he hoped his first kiss would be, sweet and gentle, but with that hint of something more just tickling around the edges.

[suitsahero]

There's not much he would have done differently if he had known it was the first, not with how warm and sweet the kiss already was. He does, perhaps, take the second a little faster than he might have, might have given Mikka more time to revel in the first one. But he finds as soon as his lips aren't on his anymore, he wants them back again, his other hand coming up to more fully cradle Mikka's face.

There are things to set into motion to get all of this official. He wants to do them immediately, far sooner than he would if Mikka were marrying someone else. He recognizes it's silly, reckless even, but there's some small part of him that believes Mikka will come to his senses, somehow, change his mind. He both desperately wants to give him the opportunity to do that and doesn't, wants to hold all of this close for as long as possible. Either way, he knows there are things he should be doing to get Mikka in the walls of Ishgard as soon as possible.

But all he really wants to do right now is keep kissing him.

[darlingdatura]

If it were any other situation, Mikka might be absolutely embarrassed to realize that he'd at some point between one kiss and the next started purring. But as it was, he didn't even really notice it, swaying into Haurchefant more than willingly as he took the second kiss, his own hands slipping up to let fingers card through silver hair.

He knows just as much as Haurchefant that there are things to do now that a choice had been made. Things that needed to be done quickly, the sooner everything was settled the sooner they could focus on finding the other Scions. But like the elezen, Mikka was just a little worried that Haurchefant would think better of this. Realize he could do better. But at the same time, he couldn't stop himself from lingering as if he wanted to memorize the taste of the man's lips against his.

[suitsahero]

Fury... is he... purring?

Something about it makes Haurchefant very suddenly want to make sure nothing ever hurts Mikka ever, to kill or die for it if necessary, and also to tear every last stitch of clothes off the both of them and find every single other way he could get that purr. The desire for both comes and goes like lightning, just a flash and then entirely more normal delight fills in behind it, but it's just one of those moments where you're struck by another person, by the deep feelings for them.

It turns the kiss both more tender and heated at once and the feel of those fingers through his hair has him all but melting against the smaller man, deepening the kiss without fully meaning to, caught in the moment.

[darlingdatura]

He absolutely is purring. Quiet, and not too terribly focused but the soft sound is there underlaying the softness of lips coming together, of fingertips almost shyly curious in their trail along the outer edges of Haurchefant's ears as silky silver hair slipped between fingers. Glad that the elezen wasn't annoyed or put off by his inexperience, giving Mikka a bit of the confidence to not flounder as the kiss lingered and shifted into something more.

And maybe even brave enough for a playful light tug of the taller man's bottom lip with teeth.

[suitsahero]

Truly, truly, he is trying to behave himself. He isn't aware of the extent of Mikka's inexperience, but he's aware most people aren't quite so casual about sexual matters as he is. He knows he can be intense, knows that most people aren't ready for it or accepting of it (he does wonder, deep underneath all of this, if this is signaling the death of him being able to fully be himself, sexually, if he's going to have to blunt his own desires for the rest of his life. If so, it wouldn't be ideal, but even as a barely formed thought, he feels it's worth it for what he would gain) and so he's trying to keep things light, focused into the kiss, his own hands not straying from gently cradling Mikka's face.

But those fingers trail light against his ears, which are sensitive and teeth find his lip and he is lost. The sensations set him trembling, more noticeable now, and he voices a soft, rich moan against Mikka's lips.

[darlingdatura]

If he had any more experience he might not be so worried. Might recognize those responses as good that shiver under his hands, the soft moan against his mouth. But as cued in as he is for any protest, he startles back at the sound with a raspy little gasp of breath, brows furrowing immediately as he was searching Haurchefant's face, something apologetic in his gaze.

"I- sorry..." He breathed out, feeling a thread of concern. "I didn't hurt you did I? I just... I-I heard that was supposed to feel nice and I just-"

[suitsahero]

It's on the tip of his own tongue to apologize-- for being too forward, for presuming too much, but Mikka gets the words out before he does and his expression melts into something heated and fond, instead,

"No, you didn't hurt me. And I wouldn't have minded if you did," this is not the time for him to delve any deeper on that subject, certainly, but his straight-forwardness demands no less. "It felt very nice. Possibly more nice than you intended it to feel," he adds. And this is the part where sanity should reassert itself and they should go to deal with all of the more mundane ramifications of this, but while he tries so hard not to be pushy, he wouldn't be Haurchefant if he didn't push a little.

"I can show you what it feels like, if you'd like?"

[darlingdatura]

Mikka senses that there's something more to that initial assurance, a confused pout already spreading along with a blush before Haurchefant is moving on to explain that it indeed did feel good.

"I just... I've never kissed anyone before, but-" A soft little chuff of sound. "But yes, I'd... I'd like that. Quite a bit."

[suitsahero]

"Never?" there's something both a bit incredulous and a little bit wondering about that. "So that..." he shifts his hands, lays his fingers against Mikka's lips for a moment, "I'm honored." Also doesn't feel like he's worthy of something like that, but that's in competition with the sudden, exultant warmth that comes with knowing you can give someone something they've never had before.

"We should be... a little careful," he does manage, "I already want to do so much more than just kiss you. I would never, ever want you to do something you did not wholly wish to do, but I cannot promise my control in the moment would hold entirely steady," he smiles warmly, though, "I think, however, a bit more kissing should be without any particular peril."

[darlingdatura]

"Never. I've... always been somewhat shy, and before I left home I didn't really socialize much beyond necessities." Not that he often had a chance. His parents tolerated him more than anything which meant anyone around who cared about getting in their good graces didn't bother trying to befriend him. It simply wasn't worth the effort. Let alone any romantic inclinations...

And he can't stop blushing as Haurchefant is speaking, at the idea of the elezen being so very interested in him that he simply couldn't contain it just warming him in more than one way.

"I don't see why kissing shouldn't be safe." He replied softly, his smile equal parts shy and playful.

[suitsahero]

"I have a lot of making up to do, it seems," he quips back, but the tone is warm, affectionate more than sexual, "You deserve as many kisses as you might want," he gives a short one, in demonstration, "And I will be happy," another, a little longer, "to make up the difference."

The next is longer and he lets it shade a bit more passionate than previously, though he still tries to keep it somewhat light-- at least, right up until he does precisely what he said he would and sets his teeth, gently, into Mikka's lower lip. He nibbles against it a moment, then worries at it a tiny bit harder, soothes the gentle bite with a small swipe of his tongue. He tries to make it every bit as sensual as it had felt to him, though probably he overdoes it just a bit for someone trying to control himself.

[darlingdatura]

He likes that tone. The warmth of it such a quintessentially Haurchefant thing that had him smiling between those playful little kisses.

Or maybe not so little as they continued on, the miqo'te sighing softly into that longer press of lips, relaxing into the elezen's grasp quite willingly. And the light nibble was somewhat expected for all the jolt of sensation that came with it was not, winning a startled little mewl of delight from Mikka, a shiver coursing through him that had his tail fluffing from base to tip.

[suitsahero]

"See?" he breathes, warm against Mikka's mouth, "It doesn't hurt at all," and then he does it again, sliding his hands up to Mikka's ears this time, playing with the base of them lightly, "Only I suppose this is more like what you did to me..." the warm, rubbing pressure on his ears matches the press of teeth, the tiny swipe of his tongue.

[darlingdatura]

Oh. Oh but that does feel lovely, Mikka unable to help the low purr that starts up again, especially with that gentle rub of fingers against the soft fur of his ears. He'd had them rubbed before, more an idle friendly gesture than anything which was nice in it's own right, but here and now, combined with the soft pinch of teeth and the wet heat of Haurchefant's tongue it took on an entirely different and entirely enjoyable sort of tone.

[suitsahero]

That purr... the way Mikka just melts in his arms... They really need to stop, before he does something incredibly foolish and far too soon, but he also feels lost in this as well, doesn't want to stop kissing him for more than a moment, never wants to.

"Now your turn again," he husks against Mikka's mouth, invites more of this insanity. Just another kiss or two, just another few minutes where Mikka is purring and warm against him instead of crying, just a moment to forget that this started in something that is a matter of life and death. Surely, surely it's no sin to take this much. Surely.

[darlingdatura]

"Mhmm..." Mikka hums, quite easily lost in this, in the taste of the elezen, the soft touches and affection. Surely they could enjoy this. Surely it wasn't selfish of him to crave this, to want even just one more kiss before the outside world would have to be faced again.

All too happy to return those kisses in that feather soft gentle way that was intrinsic to Mikka, accompanied after a moment by another light nip of teeth, and experimentally, a run of the tip of his tongue along the spot after, like had made him shiver all the more when Haurchefant had done it to him.

[suitsahero]

Even knowing it's coming, even asking for it, it hits like a train and Haurchefant moans softly into Mikka's mouth again, swaying close. He's had shy lovers before, but there's something about this that's different and he wonders if that's something about Mikka or if it's just because it's Mikka.

"Fury," he murmurs against his lips, and there's a hint of surprise in his tone, or possibly wonder, "I think you could take me apart just like this." He has to kiss him again, there's no alternative, before he adds, "This isn't something you have to earn, I'd give you every part of me just for the asking," it's honest, but more than that, it hearkens back to something Mikka had said earlier, a voiced desire even before all this, "but know that if you wanted to try to earn it, I can tell already that you could."

[darlingdatura]

Mikka was quickly discovering how much he adored it, being the one to make Haurchefant react like that, the little sway, the moan against his mouth that he was better prepared for this time, tasted eagerly even before the soft breathed out comment, with that wonderful sort of wonder and surprise to it.

He could get used to that, he was fairly certain, a boyishly charmed edge to his smile as the kissing finally broke for the moment to allow them to speak, for all his fingers lingered in Haurchefant's soft hair.

"I could?" Already pleased, already delighted with the idea that it was something that he didn't have to earn for all he was assured that he could. That this little slip of warmth and happiness was something he could have simply for being there with Haurchefant.